i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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