So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
