If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize