can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
