Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
