she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize