Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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