My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
