i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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