hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
