Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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