yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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