they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
