I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
