Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Ketchup is God's man juice
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
