ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
