You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize