I think i peed on brittanys purse
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize