can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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