The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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