Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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