You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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