I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
