Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The beer is more important than you right now.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
