i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
