You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
