I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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