Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
