I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
