toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
