u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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