But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize