I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
