Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
