I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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