Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
