Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
