This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
