Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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