So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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