I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
