I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
