Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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