we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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