I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
