Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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