Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
