Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
