I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize