i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
