he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
