Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
