You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
