This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
