Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if i died would you start the facebook group?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
