Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
