I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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