Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
