I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
