if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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