so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
