Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
