I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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