"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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